Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have feelings that need drinking.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
