she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize