he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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