Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize