so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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