You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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