My brain says no but my pants say off.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
