I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
