hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So here I am, sexting at work.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
