4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
