Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
