Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
