She said her name was "party"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
