My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
