that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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