called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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