Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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