So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
