Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
