we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
