will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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