I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
