shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
