In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
