is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
