Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think i have two assholes
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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