We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
