I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
