But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
