i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
