Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
