Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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