just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
