so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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