Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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