you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
