Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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