i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
