Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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