i would punch a child for taco bell
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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