At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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