you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
