sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
