i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
