I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
