You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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