ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
