Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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