Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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