Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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