she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
porn star boner night. come get it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
