I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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