Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
