Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
