Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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(907): View more from Alaska

i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(847): View more from Illinois

The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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(248): View more from Michigan

We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I totally fucked your pastor last night.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

You're his wife.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Still a dirty get down.

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