Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
