she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
