I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
