he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
