"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
