U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
