Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
