he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
