I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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